Victoria Rose is an author, mother and survivor of domestic violence. The abuse began with name-calling: “You’re ugly, old and fat.” The emotional abuse- yelling, degradation and guilt- chipped away at her self-esteem. The emotional abuse eventually escalated into physical abuse, grabbing, shoving, throwing, and damaging belongings in the home. Victoria tried separating from her abuser several times, but he used her nurturing and kind qualities to manipulate his way back into her life.
One night after his mother locked him out of her home, he called Victoria for help. Victoria couldn’t imagine anyone being homeless, and temporarily invited him into her home. In a fit of jealousy, after Victoria enjoyed an evening out with friends, her abuser viciously attacked her as she slept. The assault lasted for several hours, until a neighbor finally heard her cries for help and called the Media Borough Police Department. They arrested her abuser and referred her to DAP, where she could receive free options and resources.
Although she was embarrassed and ashamed to reach out to DAP for assistance again, the police and her friends convinced her to visit their office. Victoria brought a copy of the police report with her, and met with a member of the legal team and a counselor. They stressed that the abuse was not her fault, and seeking help was the right decision. DAP provided Victoria support without judgment. The legal department worked quickly to obtain a Protection From Abuse (PFA) for Victoria.PFA’s provide protection from a family or household member, intimate partner or someone with whom you share a child.
Having been severely traumatized, Victoria began weekly therapy with her counselor to start the healing process. Victoria’s counselor helped her understand that her relationship patterns were toxic or abusive. One of the tools that opened Victoria’s eyes to recognizing unhealthy and abnormal behaviors, was the Power and Control Wheel. This resource illustrates the different ways an abusive partner can use power and control to manipulate a relationship.
DAP supported Victoria in her journey to self-love, acceptance, and healing, by providing her with the tools to empower herself through counseling for managing post-traumatic stress triggers, safety planning for staying safe inside and outside the home, and finally, recognizing the reasons for her cycles of unhealthy, abusive relationships- which ultimately, enabled her to begin a new pattern for her life.
“I thank God every day that I came to DAP and received help.” Victoria Rose
